Quebec To The Future 4

It’s 2053. You’re a regular teenager in a gilet moving around on the hoverboard. As you glide through the streets, you notice kids and adults smoking cigarettes.

“I can’t believe people used to think smoking would be finished by now,” you think to yourself as you pull up to the mall.

You see your much-older, eccentric old scientist friend. He looks greyer and more out of breath than usual. He’s mumbling something about nuclear fission and beckons you into the DeLorean.

Sigh. You don’t even ask what’s happening and throw your hoverboard into the back. The Doc coughs. It’s nasty. He puts his yellow fingers on the time circuits and says, “We’re going back to 2023, before the vape flavour ban. Yeah, that’s right, we’re going Quebec to the Future.”

Although the pun feels a bit laboured, the strange man has an even stranger, crazed, and desperate look in his eyes.

The Quebec flavour ban

Predicting what 2053 might look like is really hard. However, anyone with a scrap of sense could have told you what would happen in 2023 when Quebec Health Minister Christian Dubé decided to ban vape flavours.

Research from Coalition des droits des vapoteurs du Québec (CDVQ) backs up what was obvious at the time: banning vape flavours would lead people back to smoking. What was harder to predict was the sheer scale of what would happen. A full 36% of adult vapers have started smoking cigarettes again.

Part of the CDVQ survey shows another important fact. Now, around 30% of teenagers are using vapes at least once per month. That number is up from 22% in 2023.

Anyway, after a cracking of lightning, the DeLorean pulls up to Minister Dubé’s office.

An unnecessary sacrifice

Doc turns to you and tells you, “I got this.” He rubs down his wrinkled lab coat and checks his teeth for food in a wing mirror.

“I’m a man of science; he’ll listen to me,” Doc says optimistically. You go inside.

After a little too long in the waiting room, you finally get to Health Minister Dubé. It would be unfair to compare him to Biff Tanner — for starters, even the older version of Biff had hair, etc.

The Doc speaks. “Dubé, I can’t tell you how I know, but your vape flavour ban will have terrible consequences. I’m not joking. It will cause death and destruction for many people.”

Dubé squints his eyes. “There’s a teen vaping epidemic. It’s my duty to protect the kids.”

“No, no, no,” Doc says, moving his arms around animatedly. “Your ban’s not even going to do that. In fact, I know it seems a bit counterintuitive, but teen vaping is going to rise even if you ban flavours.”

Minister Dubé is growing tired of this. “Look,” he says, “I was told flavours appeal to the youth. Big Tobacco is directly targeting kids!”

Doc is broken. His face looks like he’s been hearing this outrageous conspiracy theory for 40-plus years. “I’ll be direct. If you do this, vapers will start smoking again.”

“You don’t know that,” scoffs Dubé

“I do. Bt next year, 36% of them will be smoking. But on a personal level, if you keep bungling these decisions, I’ll still be smoking in 30 years time.”

“OK, Doc, I have a question for you. Which well-capitalised Bloomberg group pays you?”

“None,” the Doc snaps. “I’m a consumer.”

Dubé frantically pushes a button under this desk.  You and the Doc are escorted out of the building by Dubé’s henchmen.

Outside, deflated and weary, the Doc lights up a cigarette.